Guest Blogger Stacey Meadows.

This is my friend Stacey, she is a youth sponcer with us at Christian Life Fellowship, where Que and I are the Youth Pastors. Last night we opened a "Can of Worms" in youth. This was one result.

(Thanks to Anna L. Wight Photography for the picture.)

The youth group tonight started a discussion (that I came in on rather late, as I was helping out with kids & couldn't get there quicker, sorry guys, for the interruption!) about something that I feel pretty strongly about... suicide. First, I think you may want to know why I feel this way.

As someone who (long story short) has struggled with self-worth issues & depression most of her life, I was pretty quick to jump on the bandwagon when I came across ideas that made me feel important. I had an eating disorder in junior high, became a practicing Wiccan, went goth in high school, skipped school, wrote obscure poetry & song lyrics about death & loneliness... you get the picture. I was one of those. So when I had a particularly bad breakup (that followed a terrible, co-dependent relationship), I felt I needed to end it all. I felt that THEN someone would listen, THEN someone (ANYONE) would pay attention. So, I took a whole box of medicine, hoping I would just fall asleep & never wake up. I woke up the next morning, upset that I hadn't just ended things, but didn't know that I was pregnant. I attribute that second heartbeat with saving my life, tell me I'm wrong. I dare you. So, I had thought that I needed to end things to never, ever, be lonely again - that people would be SO sorry they had ever ignored me, or rejected me, or just plain not giving me their love.

But wait.... listen to this next line -

I. WAS. WRONG!!!

I was lied to, everything in my life told me I needed to hate myself, that the only way I would ever be worth anything was if I was a part of someone else, that I could somehow glom onto their worth, and it could be my own. That I could "bewitch" someone or seduce someone into something, if I only concentrated hard enough. And that set me up for a whole mess of failures, the sting of every one feeling like an earthquake in my soul. See, I know what it feels like to be that person... and God set me FREE from that. Since the day that happened, I have never ever felt like a worthless, hopeless, or helpless person. I know my worth isn't because of anything I have done, but what He has done for me, and what He can do through me, if I only allow Him to. He has shown me that I am His child, always have been, and that He LOVES me, enough to send His son to be humiliated, betrayed, wronged, beaten, broken, and after all of that, to take on everyone's sin - and He never did a single thing wrong! He was allowed to experience every single human emotion, without ever succumbing to sin, and He died - for me, for you, for the very people who spit in his face, for the ones who don't believe, for the ones that are cutting themselves to temporarily stop thinking about their pain, for those who are drinking their worries away, for those who are abandoning their children, for the ones who habitually lie, for those who hurt other people for no other reason than they want the high of control, for every single person who has ever & will ever walk this earth.

My heart hurts for you if you think you are worthless, that you have nothing... you have everything. He has done everything for you - accept it!! Healing, acceptance, justice, peace, companionship.... whatever you need (more than you need!!)- just accept it - it's a free gift for all of His kids! You, right now, are a prince, are a princess, and YOU ARE WORTH IT ALL.

Ps, I have a website for you. It's www.twloha.org, thanks to a friend who went to school in Florida, I found out about them years ago, for those who don't know what they're all about, here's their mission statement, copied directly from their site:

"To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery." People know what you're going through - do NOT hesitate to ask for help. You ARE worth it.

Oh - and I love you. :D

We love you too Stacey! Thanks for sharing.

What Am I?

Here's a new one for ya!

Wuv, True Wuv...

(I didn't take this picture, but it is so cute...)

I recently had an argument with someone, you know who you are, and you know I still love you, we just disagree. The statement I made that they disagreed with was “There is no reason for two people who are actively perusing God to get a divorce.” Their argument was that I had never been in a bad marriage, and they had. Actually, let’s see I’ll call you… Kira, I don’t know any Kiras, and if a Kira reads this, you’ll know the name is a pseudonym. So anyways… Kira said “You don’t know, you’ve never been in a bad marriage.” Well that shut me up for a minute or two… However, I am kinda funny that way, if something bothers me I have to simmer on it. Not as in getting mad, but just honestly consider it, sift it, and decide how I feel about it. I learned long ago not to trust my emotions. Emotions are like a runaway dog that needs to be leashed and told where to go. No matter how I feel that doesn’t make it true. If I make the right choices, the right emotions will follow.

For example… (haha wish the dots made noise, dut dut duuu) lol I don’t always feel love for my husband, but I always love my husband. I CHOOSE to love him, but the warm fuzzies got a cold shave many years ago… But because I keep choosing to love him every day, eventually the warm fuzzies come back… and leave, and come back… Does that mean I stop loving him when I don’t feel it? No, I am committed to him. I choose to love him even when I don’t feel it.

Now that is why it hit me a few days later, I have been in a bad marriage. We have had days, months probably even a year that we… well let’s just say love is not an accurate word for what we felt at that time. I fall out of love every day and jump right back in.

Juju the Dalmatian...

Seems all my posts are about Juju lately... she is sooooo photogenic, and into so much... lol Her class all dressed up like Dalmatians today. She was so excited!

God Has A Plan! and URNIt!

GHAP God Has A Plan! and You are in it! God tickles me. I have all these plans, all these things I think I want to do, but God has different ones. We had a plan, we were gonna be Youth Pastor's for a while, a maybe even throw in some Kids Pastoring in there, and then move on up to Senior Pastors... That is exactly what we did... after 13 Years or so of Kids and Youth Pastoring, we became Senior Pastors. BTDT GTTTP (Been There Done That, Got The Tshirt To Prove it.) And now we are Youth Pastors again, and THRILLED about it.

We are the Youth Pastors at Christian Life Fellowship in Calera Al. Yesterday we took our teen Drama Team to Fine Arts. We had ten entries, from Male Vocal Solo, to Guitar Solo, to Small Group Human Video, Large Group Human Video, Large Group Spoken Drama, and Small Group Spoken Drama. ALL TEN ADVANCED TO STATE! We are so proud!

A huge thank you to Lorna Davis, and her assistants Andrew Davis, and Stacey Meadows. They did all the hard work.

Oh and bonus, my two oldest kids, Matt and Nana are on the Drama Team!

Dare I Say I'm Back?

I hope so. After a 6 week battle with ATT, we finally have internet at home. Hopefully I can post on a regular basis now...

So we recently had a Snow day... My kids can't just do a normal snow man... lol

Love it

Here are some pics I took.

Run snow man, Run

This is juju's snow man.

Christmas snow. (a little late)

I thought these were sooo cool I LOVE the one of Juju with the snowflake on her nose!

Would you believe?

This is just a pretty picture of the sunset and snow.

Would you believe these are actual pictures of snowflakes?

Yes I am serious... How cool is that. How cool is God???

Let's just call it Nasty November...

Why you may ask? Wow, it has been a month. I started it off, the first day of November by a trip to the emergency room!!! Yay! wasn't me, was Juju, and we thought possible appendicitis... ewww. Finally at 2 am they say "naw... you're full of crap." and send us home to take some puralax... Yes literally full of crap, she had a back up poor girl.

A few days later my back/left side started really hurting... I thought maybe I had pulled a muscle when I was crammed on the gurney with Juju napping in the ER at 1 am... Then these weird spots came up. It looked almost like poison oak or something... I thought maybe I had gotten a slight burn, I had been living on the heating pad, trying to help the pain. Then we thought it was a kidney stone. The pain was very localized, and right where my left kidney should have been. Que teased me about the spots saying the kidney stone was trying to come out my side.

So I took this awful, awful let me repeat AWFUL home remedy, 2oz of lemon juice, and 2oz of olive oil gently stirred together, drink it like a shot... After the first swallow you don't taste anything... your taste buds are singed!!! I drank it, hoping to relieve the pain... It didn't help.

I went to the doctor on monday, they said "Well it isn't a kidney stone, but you have some sort of infection, according to your white blood count." That didn't help any, I was in pain.

So what did I do, just keep on keeping on.

Finally Que looked at me one day, and said "Does Shingles have a rash with it?"

BINGO No i'm not kidding. IKR??? I'm only 37 too young for shingles I thought. So now towards the end of the month, I am finally beginning to feel better, the shingles are drying up, one even fell off... yay. and guess what... I got the flu which left me with Bronchitis.... SHEASH. Will it never end? Yes it will, TODAY!

Today is the last day of November. It's rainy out today, lots of storms, which I love, so I am hiding in a Starbucks until it is time for my class. When I went up to the register to get something to eat, a lady walked up behind me and said "Let me get that!" and proceeded to pay for my drink and muffin!

December is looking better already!

If God cares enough to paint stripes on acorns, and place polka-dots on leaves,

SURELY he cares for you!

Green Couch Night 2010 revisited...

Look, my sister found an old pic of the green couch!! With Shannon holding me on it! What can I say? I've always been the 'bigger' sister...

Green Couch Night 2010

We had an awesome time! If you want to know why it is called "Green Couch Night" click here.

We watched 5 movies, two dramas, one of which was a real tear jerker... I cry every year at GCN... a sci fi flick that only I really liked, and two cackling comedies... Those are my favorite, I love to hear my mother laugh. She and I can't laugh quietly! Shannon made some wonderful potato soup,. and I supervised a spinach quiche. I was gonna cook it, but I woke up with Bronchitis... no fun... We put up mom's tree for her and most of all had a wonderful time. I told Shannon we need to do it again in July for her bday...

Mamma Dunk's Whipping Creme Pound Cake

This is Mama Dunk

Mama Dunk is well known as a wonderful cook. This is one of her recipes.

Whipping Cream Pound cake

3 cups sugar

1 cup butter

7 eggs

2 teaspoons of vanilla flavoring

3 cups of all purpose (plain) flour

½ pint whipping cream (do not whip)

Preheat oven to 300 degrees

Blend sugar and butter with mixer

Add eggs one at a time while mixing

Add vanilla

Add flour and whipping cream slowly (if you put all the flour in at one time you will have a spectacular mess to clean. Learned that one the hard way.)

Mix well until smooth

I use a bunt pan, sprayed well with cooking spray.

Bake in greased pan for 1 ½ hour at 300 degrees

Christmas Wishes

The stores do it, so why can't I? Do what? Start thinking about Christmas. So here are some items on my Christmas wish list...

1. this is soooooooo cool! It looks JUST LIKE A LENS... but it isn't, it's a MUG! too awesome I want one please... It is only about $25.

2. This is also super cool! These are tiny lenses, a macro/wide angle, and a fisheye. They fit on your cell phone camera... How cool is that? I don't really want the fisheye, but I would LOVE to have the Wide angle/Macro... it is only $20 Not asking tooo much is it?

Ok that's all for now... I'll keep looking, in case anyone cares...