What do you mean he didn't say it back?????

I really love it when God shows me things, about myself or others. One of the things he showed me tonight was that "I love you" had become a trap to my husband. How? How could a simple phrase, words of affirmation, become a trap? Because early on when we first got married, 22 years ago, I trained him. I used to say I love you at night before we would go to sleep, and he had to say it back.
No, you don't understand. He had to say it back. I was Monkish (as in the tv show, as in obsessive compulsive, you HAVE to say it, or I won't let you go to sleep, because I won't be able to go to sleep, and we ALL know it is ALL about ME>>>) in my pursuit of his saying it back. To the point where it got to where he trained himself to be asleep and mumble it because I had to hear it. It was part of me being needy I had to have that security. It was a romantic notion, I wanted "I love you" to be the last thing each of us heard before we went to sleep. You know, incase something happened to one of us in the night... Ok, ok it was actually just selfish insecurity. I admitted it, are you happy now???
The problem is I OBSESSED over it. We would lay there and talk at night, and then I would hear him start to snore, so I thought to myself "I'll be nice and let him go to sleep..."
(out loud) "I love you..."
(patiently waiting for a response) "I LOVE you.."
(not so patient elbow jab) "I LOVE YOU>>>"
and he would mumble Ilu utoo"
Looking back I see how it became a trap.

However, I robbed myself of being able to give him the gift of saying I love you, without expecting him to say do or give me anything in return. I was young and foolish and didn't understand what unconditional love was. First Corinthians 13 love.
I Corinthians 13:4-8a

4 Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. It doesn’t sing its own praises. It isn’t arrogant. 5 It isn’t rude. It doesn’t think about itself. It isn’t irritable. It doesn’t keep track of wrongs. 6 It isn’t happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth. 7 Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.

8 Love never comes to an end.

31 Days of DaNella's Brain... Microbursts! day 15

Whatever state you are in…

This year I have accused Christeonnah (11) of trying to get a medical degree vicariously. Why? She has had too many ailments! Ok here is the list;

• Tonsillectomy
• Tibial tubercle fracture (broken tibia)
• Broken tooth (baby tooth thankfully)
• Had to have her eyes checked
• Had to be tested for glaucoma
• The worst case of lice I have ever seen (another medicine she was on had itching as a side effect so that hid the itching from the lice)
• Very bad Poison Ivey
• Been diagnosed with migraines
• Sty’s in her eye
• Trip to emergency room with a very sprained knee.

The thing about it is through it all, with all that has gone on, she is still always, always, almost without exception, in a good mood. She is the epitome of Philippians 4:12

I have learned to be content, no matter what the situation.

31 Days of DaNella's Brain... Microbursts! Day 14 (no you didn't miss 12 and 13, I did)

Scarlet O’Hara Theology?

Recently something was bothering me, a problem, after all, I have a lot going on. I was soooo tempted to be all wrapped up in my problem. But I remembered “If you’re gonna pray don’t worry, if you’re gonna worry, don’t pray.” I was trying to follow my own advice, but like a bad dream, over and over, it kept coming up in my mind. I kept pushing it away, and suddenly I realized what I was doing, I was pulling a Scarlet. Have you ever seen Gone With The Wind? It used to bug me to death how Scarlet always said “I can’t think about this right now… I’ll think about it tomorrow.” Aggghhh I couldn’t stand it! Face reality Scarlet, it is what it is. Well when this problem kept coming up over and over, I kept pushing it away, and thinking “I can’t think about it right now.” And I realized, there is something to this Scarlet Theology. After all, God said

So don't ever worry about tomorrow. After all, tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

31 Days of DaNella's Brain... Microbursts! Day 11

(haha one of those I took my own pic things, in a bathroom...lol)

Do Deer Have to Use the Bathroom In the Middle of the Night?

The other night, I had to get up in the middle of the night to use the rest room. Yes there is a point to this story, on my way back to bed, I saw something laying on the floor. It looked hard enough to injure me in the dark, but my first thought was. Well I know I would never leave something hard on the floor. I know better, I know I will have to get up several times a night to use the restroom, and I know I don’t want to turn the light on, so I would NEVER leave something in the way to stub my toe, I am allergic to pain. The point of the story was, my first reaction, the first thing that came to mind, which I actually said out loud, was “Well I know it isn’t something hard, I’d never do that to myself.” In spite of the fact that all the senses I had to rely in at the moment were warning me that there was something hard on the floor to stump my toe, I knew me better than that and knew I would never harm myself.

How well do we know God, when all of our senses are telling us things are falling down around us, do we realize that He will never let us fall. He makes our feet like a deer that can walk over mountainous crags and not loose our footing. Although I am not sure deer have to get up in the middle of the night to use the bath room.

The LORD Almighty is my strength. He makes my feet like those of a deer. He makes me walk on the mountains.

Habakkuk 3:19

31 Days of DaNella's Brain... Microbursts! Day 10

God Throws Water Balloons?

The other day I was walking across campus to class. I wasn’t bothering anyone; I was minding my own business, thinking about all I had to do. I was probably too deep into my own thoughts, trying to solve my problems by myself.

I had homework due, and with home-schooling 2 of my kids, and 2 in public school, a lot on my mind.

So here I am minding my own business, in my own little world, worried about the cares of life, and suddenly my head is soaked.

Really, I am telling you the truth; it felt like a huge water balloon dropped on my head.

Apparently it had rained the night before, and a squirrel jumped from one tree to another causing it to “rain” on me. It startled me, but it made me laugh, and made me realize that there are better things to do than worry about what is going on in my life, God can handle it. Proverbs 17:22 says,

A joyful heart is good medicine, but depression drains one's strength

So don’t take your self too seriously, or God will have to throw a water balloon at you like He did me.

31 Days of DaNella's Brain... Microbursts! Day9

Nana Minion

Of my four kids, the oldest, Matt (12) and the youngest Juliannah (6) have very similar personalities, and get along well. They could be twins if not for the age and sex difference. The same thing is true of my two middle children, Christeonnah (11) often called Nana (Non-nah), and Tymothie (8) are definitely cut from the same cloth. It is almost to the point of the little ones worshiping the big ones. As a matter of fact, Matt got mad at Tymothie, the other day, and the best insult he could come up with is to call him a “Nana Minion.”

He wasn’t far from wrong; a minion is a servile or slavish follower of somebody generally regarded as important. Tymothie definitely thinks Nana is someone important.

We can only hope to be accused of being a Christ Minion.

Those who serve me must follow me. My servants will be with me wherever will be. If people serve me, the Father will honor them.

John 12:26

31 Days of DaNella's Brain... Microbursts! day 8

Stitch Rippers.

Any of you sew? Got a Grandmother that sews? Have you ever seen a Stitch Ripper? It is a sharp pokey thing with a small razor blade in it that you can use in sewing to rip out seams if you have sewn them wrong, or just changed your mind. Recently I have felt like someone has been using one on me. Lately I have had a lot of things going on. Let me name a few:

· Trying to start my own photography business

· Attending college to get a Psychology degree

· Trying to get a book published

· Home schooling my two oldest kids…(12 & 11)

· My two youngest in public school

· My boys in Wrestling

· All four of them in Junior Bible Quiz (shameless plug)

· My husband working 2 jobs, so I am almost a single mom

Stress stress every where, and not a place to hide! Sometimes I feel like I am being ripped apart at the seams. Then, I realized, I am being ripped apart at the seams, but it is ok, God will sew me back together and probably let some bad stuff fall out in the process! After all, Psalms 139:5 says “You hem me in, behind and before….”

31 Days of DaNella's Brain... Microbursts! Day 7 (4 for me cause I started late)

Satan is such a goof ball!!!!

I recently embarked on a huge adventure for me. I committed to fast part of my day for 47 days.

Now you have to understand, I could NEVER be mistaken for an anorexic, I love my food. This was not an easy commitment for me, but I felt it was an important step in my growth with God.

Three days into my fast, satan started throwing everything including the kitchen sink at me.

A mysterious charge appeared on my checking account, and the company listed, “no longer exists”. Our bank can reverse it, but it will take 10 days. In the mean time, we racked up a couple of hundred dollars in overdraft fees.

I delivered some food for my church and nearly ran out of gas. We are out of sugar, bread, butter, even out of trash bags!

Q’s steel toe boots bit my little toe. You should see it, it turned all kinds of pretty red, black and purple colors. Then his tool box reached out and bit me. On top of all that, I fell off a stoop, not even a stair, a little 5 in step, and bruised my bottom.

However, God blessed us with a full tank of gas that we didn’t have to pay for, and our church was kind enough to give us the money to fix our checking account.

I have a few war wounds, but nothing permanent. Has it affected my commitment to fast? You bet it has; now I am more determined than ever, because satan is a goofball. He can throw everything he wants to at me I’ll never give up on God!

I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love which Christ Jesus our Lord shows us. We can't be separated by death or life, by angels or rulers, by anything in the present or anything in the future, by forces or powers in the world above or in the world below, or by anything else in creation.

Romans 8:38-39

31 Days of DaNella's Brain... Microbursts! Day 6 (3)

You can always make me smile... ^ Matt and Nana, below is Tym and Ann

Make God Smile

My daughter Nana (12) woke me up last night at about 2 am with tummy troubles. So I had to get up and get her some medicine. My bedroom opens straight in to the living room, so as I walked from my room through the living room to the kitchen to attend to the Nana, I smelled something. Suddenly I realized I was smiling, without me even thinking about it.

You must understand I don’t usually deal very well with getting woken up. If I am awakened for no reason, I can be an absolute bear (the kids often refer to me as Grizella at those times). This at least was a good reason; I don’t want my Precious Nana feeling bad. However, for me to actually smile when I have been awoken at 2 am is very unusual.

Once I smiled I became curious as to what had brought about this strange phenomenon. Then I recognized the smell of vanilla, and remembered that earlier that day I had bought one of those plug in air fresheners and as I smiled I had just passed the spot where it was plugged in. I must have caught a pleasant whiff of vanilla

That reminds me of the verse in Ephesians 5:2 “Live in love as Christ also loved us. He gave his life for us as an offering and sacrifice, a soothing aroma to God.” That says our praise is as a sweet, soothing aroma to God I bet it makes him smile!

31 Days of DaNella's Brain... Microbursts!

Grab What You Can!

My older daughter, Christeonnah (12) had bought some candy, small round tart balls, and she was keeping them in a cracker box. Of course we accused her (just teasing) of trying to hide them from her younger siblings, to which she replied that she was merely “being creative.”
However at one point during the night when she went to reach in the box to get one, it tipped over and began to display a lot of tiny balls on my floor. This alone would have been funny, but since we have hardwood floors, as they scattered they bounced, making a fairly loud noise. It was loud enough that Juliannah (8) in the next room heard it, and she yelled “Spill on isle three; grab what you can!” and proceeded to run into the living room and try to steal all of Nana’s candy!
Too funny, but do you realize that is exactly how we need to be? We need to run to God, seek His presence, and long for His touch. We need to read our bible, and immerse ourselves in Him so deep that we can’t be found. He tells us to be filled to overflowing with His spirit.
Eph 5:18 Don't get drunk on wine, which leads to wild living. Instead, be filled with the Spirit

Ok I'm gonna do it! 31 days of Microbursts!

I am starting today and I'm gonna post 31 days of Microbursts... So that means I better get busy, It's part of the 31 Days of... you can check that out here. There are over 700 blogs participating...

Here we go! Joy Unspeakable!

Today at work was a day! I was glad it was only eight hours! I wasn’t sure it would ever end.,. Unfortunately I started off the day with a sinus tooth ache… It was almost as bad as a migraine. Nice huh? That alone was pretty bad, but then two people in my class kept arguing… loudly over the TV. They each wanted to watch their own show. At the same time…, with only one TV. Needless to say one or the other was constantly losing and protesting, loudly!

As if that were not enough, “it” chose today to hit. Yeah you ladies know exactly what I mean, that lovely monthly thing some call “Happy Time…” I was not happy!

I began to wonder “Is this day over yet? “The answer to that came in a beautiful rainbow of wax cylinders flying thru the air and landing all over the floor in my room…Yep you guessed it, someone spilled our huge box of crayons all over the floor.

Finally as the day was winding down, I had peace that I had indeed survived. As I was doing one of my last duties, helping load the busses for the trip home, one of the drivers asked me “How are you doing?”

Since I knew he was a Christian, and I knew he would understand, I said, “If I only had happiness, and didn’t have joy, I would have had a bad day! My happiness left long ago, but it left joy in its wake.”

He just kind of laughed and said, “Yeah sometimes it’s joy unspeakable huh?”

I’m not totally sure how he meant it, but I’ll tell you how I took it, Sometimes the joy that God gives, joy in the midst of struggles, joy when the world is in turmoil, joy at unexpected moments, that joy that makes absolutely no since shouldn’t even be there.

That is Joy unspeakable!

Although you have never seen Christ, you love him. You don't see him now, but you believe in him. You are extremely happy with joy and praise that can hardly be expressed in words

I Peter 1:8

Joy Unspeakable!

(written several months ago)

Today at work was a day! I was glad it was only eight hours! I wasn’t sure it would ever end.,. Unfortunately I started off the day with a sinus tooth ache… It was almost as bad as a migraine. Nice huh? That alone was pretty bad, but then two people in my class kept arguing… loudly over the TV. They each wanted to watch their own show. At the same time…, with only one TV. Needless to say one or the other was constantly losing and protesting, loudly!

As if that were not enough, “it” chose today to hit. Yeah you ladies know exactly what I mean, that lovely monthly thing some call “Happy Time…” I was not happy!

I began to wonder “Is this day over yet? “The answer to that came in a beautiful rainbow of wax cylinders flying thru the air and landing all over the floor in my room…Yep you guessed it, someone spilled our huge box of crayons all over the floor.

Finally as the day was winding down, I had peace that I had indeed survived. As I was doing one of my last duties, helping load the busses for the trip home, one of the drivers asked me “How are you doing?”

Since I knew he was a Christian, and I knew he would understand, I said, “If I only had happiness, and didn’t have joy, I would have had a bad day! My happiness left long ago, but it left joy in its wake.”

He just kind of laughed and said, “Yeah sometimes it’s joy unspeakable huh?”

I’m not totally sure how he meant it, but I’ll tell you how I took it, Sometimes the joy that God gives, joy in the midst of struggles, joy when the world is in turmoil, joy at unexpected moments, that joy that makes absolutely no since shouldn’t even be there.

That is Joy unspeakable!

Although you have never seen Christ, you love him. You don't see him now, but you believe in him. You are extremely happy with joy and praise that can hardly be expressed in words

I Peter 1:8

Does God Cheat.

According to Webster, cheating is to trick or outwit. Also as in baseball, to position oneself defensively near a particular area in anticipation of a play in that area. Based on that I'd have to say God cheats!
Let me explain. I have an iPhone I love it! There are so many apps, it is so useful. I have an app for everything from finding the best price to bible reading. There is even an app for sign language. You just type in the words and it shows you how to sign it.
During this state of limbo we are living in, since I am not on the worship team, I have been googling all the worship lyrics. I then copy and paste them onto a note, and then paste a section into my sign language app, so I can sign the song.
Today as I was attempting to grab some more lyrics, God tricked me. I had been praying on and off all morning about our limbo. We were the pastors of an awesome church, but due to finances we had to close the church. Now, thru a series of unimportant events we are currently unable to apply for another. This had me pretty bummed. All of this was on my mind as I attempted to grab some lyrics, copy and paste them on a note. When I opened the blank note, and hit paste, this is what I saw;

Isaiah 49:16I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.

Is that not cheating? I know God cares about me, but it is so comforting to think of Him writing my name on the palm of His hand. Just like I know you have, you are on the run and short of paper, so you grab a pen and write yourself a note on your hand. How awesome to think that God not out of need, necessity, or shortage of supplies but out of love has engraved my name on the palm of his hand. How awesome!

I looked up that verse three weeks ago and pasted it into a note thinking it would be great for a Microburst one day. Little did I know God had the same idea, but He cheated, He prepared in advance. He was ready for today and now so am I.

The Radar Has Nothing To Do With What Is Up In The Sky

In this drought, I really enjoyed having a computer, with Internet, and being able to check the radar. I like checking to see it is going to rain. I will hear thunder and I will run real fast to the computer to see the radar, and sometimes I will say, “No, the radar isn’t showing anything.” And that settles it in my mind.

Well my husband told me one day, “The radar has nothing to do with what is up in the sky.” That confused me for a second, but I just let it go, like whatever. I wasn’t real sure he knew what he was talking about.

Then the other day, the same thing happened, and he said the same thing, “The radar has nothing to do with what is up in the sky.” So I stopped for a minute and I thought about it, the radar has nothing to do with what is up in the sky. Then it hit me, the radar reflects off of rain drops, it can tell you where it is raining and where that rain is going, but it has nothing to do with what is up in the sky. It can not tell you if it is about to rain, it can’t predict the future. The radar can’t see a cloud in the sky that is full of rain and about to burst; it doesn’t reflect the rain until it is released. So the next time you look around and feel like a spiritual storm is coming, realize that is just your radar reflecting off of the rain around you, the radar has nothing to do with what is up in the sky; that is the future. Only God knows your future. When you feel the devil surrounding you, look up and trust that God controls the sky, and your future. Psalms 123:1b says Hey yo God… up there in heaven, I could use a little help here.

He knows what we do not know. With all of that power, surely He knows about a few rain drops surrounding you.

I look to you, heaven-dwelling God, look up to you for help.

Psalms 123:1b

MUD... That Pretty Much Says It All

Thankfully we have been getting some rain lately. We are still in a drought, but every little bit helps. Unfortunately the warehouse where Tymothie (7) has wrestling practice is surrounded by mud. As we were on our way into the building to get Tym, Que showed me the best way to go. It was a lot like a treasure map, “Take three steps to your right, go around this puddle, go in front of this puddle, now step over this ditch then hop over this puddle.”

On the way out, I thought I saw a better way, so I took it. It was dark, and I couldn’t see well. I nearly fell in the mud! Que looked at me and through gales of laughter said, “You had to go your own way didn’t you?”

As Christian we get tired of going God’s way sometimes, and try to do it our own way. We forget the verse that says

Your word is a lamp for my feet, and a light for my path.

Psalm 119:105

He knows the way; all we have to do is follow.

Since When Is Snoring A Ministry?

Since when is snoring a Ministry?

There is a young couple in our church, Mark and Stacey, and they haven’t been married for long, and haven’t been saved for long. We wanted to kind of mentor them some, and just encourage them in God, that He is worth the time, so we invited them over to our house for lunch one Sunday.

Quintin has been working two jobs, so he was really super tired. After he cooked lunch, and helped me serve lunch, he was even more tired. Mark and Stacey’s kids went to play with ours, and we settled in the living room.

Stacey has a camera similar to mine, and loves to take pictures, so I pulled out my laptop which has like a thousand pictures on it, and started showing some to her and Mark. In a few seconds we heard a strange noise and began to look around for the source. We didn’t have to look far, over in the recliner Que was snoring. We just laughed and went back to the pictures.

A couple of weeks later, at church one Sunday, Stacey’s brother Michael came up to us and said, “Thank you so much for having Mark and Stacey over the other day, that was such a blessing, you ministered to them so much. It even ministered to me!”

Poor guy, I laughed in his face… I didn’t mean to, it just came out before I could stop it. Then as he kind of looked at me funny, I said, “I am sorry, but since when is snoring a ministry?” Then I explained how Que had slept most of the time.

I guess it just goes to show you never know when you are ministering to someone, just by being yourself.

My eyes will be watching the faithful people in the land so that they may live with me. The person who lives with integrity will serve me.

Psalms 101:6

He Took My Sins Away!

We are currently (2007) in a stage three drought in Central Alabama; we have about a 20in deficiency in yearly rainfall totals. It is so bad that there is even a small town, Wilsonville that only has one well, and only has seven feet of water left in it. While we were watching the news tonight they mentioned that Marble Falls Texas got 18in of rain yesterday. They went on to say that much rain would totally take away our drought. Well Tymothie (7) got all excited and yelled “They took our drought away!! They took our drought!” of course he had misunderstood and I had to explain that the weather man was merely saying that much rain could take our drought away.
We don’t even get that excited about God, and He did take our sins away. We should be shouting “He took my sins away! He took my sins away!” After all,

But the fact is, it was our pains he carried— our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Isaiah 53:4
(The message)

Fiery Darts of the Cheese Fries!

Tymothie (9) and Juliannah (8) are in a peewee league for football. Tym is playing football, and Juliannah is a cheerleader. It has been so much fun… except for the cheese fries. Those things are sneaky!
I go to a ball game, I'm sitting minding my own business, cheering for my kids, and suddenly it happens… I smell em! Sure enough, a person in front of me has just gotten a huge gooey pile of super yummy cheesy goodness. The smell wafts up to my nostrils and does a delicate dance of tantalizing temptation! I WANT SOME CHEESE FRIES!
I knew it was going to happen. I knew this smell of cheese fries was going to throw its fiery darts at my tummy and tempt me to eat them. This time I have a plan. I loaded up on snacks, low calorie snacks, to take to the ball game with me… I knew that if I had something on my stomach it would give me the power I needed to withstand the fiery darts of the cheese fries.
God tells us in Ephesians 6:16
In addition to all these, take the Christian faith as your shield. With it you can put out all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
We need to use the Shield of Faith to protect us from the fiery darts of the enemy. If we are reading His word, and spending time with him in prayer, we will be better prepared. It might even help us avoid cheese fries.

Grab What You Can!

My older daughter, Christeonnah (12) had bought some candy, small round tart balls, and she was keeping them in a cracker box. Of course we accused her (just teasing) of trying to hide them from her younger siblings, to which she replied that she was merely “being creative.”
However at one point during the night when she went to reach in the box to get one, it tipped over and began to display a lot of tiny balls on my floor. This alone would have been funny, but since we have hardwood floors, as they scattered they bounced, making a fairly loud noise. It was loud enough that Juliannah (8) in the next room heard it, and she yelled “Spill on isle three; grab what you can!” and proceeded to run into the living room and try to steal all of Nana’s candy!
Too funny, but do you realize that is exactly how we need to be? We need to run to God, seek His presence, and long for His touch. We need to read our bible, and immerse ourselves in Him so deep that we can’t be found. He tells us to be filled to overflowing with His spirit.
Eph 5:18 Don't get drunk on wine, which leads to wild living. Instead, be filled with the Spirit

Childlike Faith

Tymothie with my dad at Christmas time.

The economy, the economy, the economy. That seams to be all the we hear lately. With the newly elected president, people are especially worried about the economy.

Some of you think that just because you are reading this book (blog) that I am well off , that just ain't so! As a matter of fact, the other day Tymothie (8) said "Why don't we get food stamps anymore? We need em."

I said, "Well , when I got a job (20 hrs a week) they think we make too much money now."

He said, "Well, we don't! Especially with daddys job going to cut back to three days a week."

I said, "Are you worried?"

He said, "No, it's probably part of God's plan some how...."

Wow the faith of a child. I need some of that!

Mark 9:24 "Lord, I believe! Help my lack of faith."